It’s a few days before my birthday and I still feel miserable. I should be happy because I successfully made my first investment. However, the accompanying circumstances drained me mentally, emotionally and financially.

I’m back to being my recluse self; something that I had worked hard on to overcome the past decades. I feel like hiding from the world or get lost somewhere no one knows me and start over again.

I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I feel I don’t connect enough to people. Or only a few would really bother to know more about me and what’s going on behind the apparent strong façade. Or maybe I should be like the rest who talk about themselves regardless if they’re asked.

I’m so weary.


I recently battled a rather serious mood swing brought about by the stressful end of 2013 that went on ’til the 1st quarter of 2014. This involved getting the condo, dealing with parents visiting and having a demanding work load.

What triggered the “depression” probably was the realization that I cannot go on vacation, for the reason that our project for Showtime got delayed tremendously, hence won’t be traveling with a friend. I was really looking forward to that and now I wonder what would have happened. Will it open old wounds? Will it rekindle what we had before? All questions.

Then came thoughts bordering on self-pity, questioning one’s worth, and trying to find a destination.

It’s two weeks before my birthday and I don’t see these questions being answered by then.


It has been a stressful 6 months since my last blog.

There was much delay in the condo as the agent gave the wrong time table. And of course I end up being “to blame” being a newbie buyer. Consequently, my parents weren’t able to see it during their vacation (the unit was turned over to me a day after they flew back). A lot of the original plans also didn’t push through concerning my parents’ house and running things there.

The visit didn’t happen, too. Because of work that was delayed and delayed.

A lot of disappointment.