Unsent Letter V (Final)

Posted on Jan 20, 2012 in Blah Blah | 0 comments

I should finally close it. Waiting does not make sense anymore because after a couple of years, after trying many times to get you to say something, you still choose to be silent. I ignored this, thinking you were just being careful after we had a problem, instead of seeing it as you telling me not to hope. You always kept me at a distance. Always not wanting to say or show you care. Maybe you do. But does it matter now? I am tired. You have successfully discouraged me.

I have wanted to let go of my feelings for some time now. But during the times I wanted to try, you manage to pull me back by showing kindness, patience and generosity. And this happened again before the holidays when I told you about my targets for the coming years. Like getting a full time job and going back to school. I read too much into it again, mistaking it for caring, instead of looking at it as just being friendly or cordial of you. You said when we had that argument that you don’t want to lose me for selfish reasons. I took that as something close to saying that you love me. Instead of thinking that it’s just plainly for real selfish reasons since help with your business somewhat.

It will hurt me that I will be cold to you from now on. But you have ignored me for too long. I still love you but I have to let you go.

A Bitter Pop Song Challenge

Posted on Jan 20, 2012 in Blah Blah, Music | 0 comments

Some emo cartoon grabbed off the Internet

Lately lethargic and it has been a chore to gear up for work (I work from home in case you don’t know). The mood is also somewhat responsible for writing another bitter song (or the song may actually be the cause for the mood–who knows?) . This time about unrequited love.

Sounds exciting? Not.

I wrote in a short update more than a week ago the line that goes “‘Cause if you really want me, you would say it.” Just sums up the idea of the pop song.

More of the bitter lyrics:

I know it’s crazy but what can I do
Spending days and days waiting for you
Wishing that you’d show a sign
But will there be the time
‘Cause if you really want me, you would say it

The day we met was something like a fairy tale
I never knew I’d meet someone like you
But I had the mistake of reading too much what you do
‘Cause if you really love me, you would say it

This is very uncharacteristic and would not fit any of my projects (names are for tombstones, Watari’s Machine or Siren Song). It hearkens back to the 90s when I was just starting with band music with the rest of the boys (Ney, Arwin, Pong and I) in a garage band we fondly called Washtub Fill. I imagine the arrangement as something like a mix of Toto, Fra Lippo Lippi and maybe even early-to-mid-80s Motown music.

The challenge would be to actually hear it arranged for and played by a band and not just end up another “bedroom” arrangement/recording that I have been doing for over a decade.