Seventeen Before Forty-One

Posted on May 16, 2012 in Blah Blah | 1 comment

Stressed by machihuahua (Deviant Art)

There are times you feel real frustrated that you want to shout at people or generally shout at the universe. I was hoping the first year of being forty would be better than the previous years. It ends up being emotionally difficult, really testing my resilience if not my sanity.

My domestic situation has not improved. And I’m still torn between staying here and moving out again. I knew there are consequences to moving back home (to “take care of the house”) but I was not expecting to be “taking care of the house and the people who live in it.” No improvement in their living situation for years now.

I also still do not understand why people cannot be open with me and tell me their opinions (of my opinions and myself). They quickly dismiss me as bossy or self-centered. But as I have always said, I may be difficult to deal with, I may have strong convictions, but I never see myself as unreasonable.

Finally, this eternal crux of finding the “right one.” Wait let me rephrase that. Finding the right one who also thinks you are the right one. And mix that with reading too much into things that the “right one” says to you. Logic is usually lost when the heart gets involved. But sometimes you need to allow reality slip in once in a while to quickly detect if someone is just feeding you bullshit just to keep you close.

So, this is what I feel at the moment.

“Malinis kasi kayong tingnan.”

Posted on Apr 23, 2012 in Blah Blah | 0 comments

Snitch candy bar

Lemme eat your snitch!

That sounded a little vulgar don’t you think? Dirty mind? It’s actually “snatch” that you’re looking for.

I thought it was a funny name for a candy bar so I grabbed “Snitch” while paying at the checkout counter of an old, beat down grocery store earlier today. I bought a couple items I needed but I don’t call it a full shopping episode.

What made me write about this, aside from the funny candy, was the cashier girl. She started chatting me up, initially appearing as a random thing, that I thought was amusing and at the same time sad.

She first asked

“Sir, matagal na kayo dito? (Have you lived long in this city?)”

To which I answered

“Oo, dito ako pinanganak. Bakit? (Yes, I was born here. Why?)”

Her strange reply was

“Malinis kasi kayong tingnan. (It’s because you look tidy.)”

I got what she meant but I decided to make a joke out of it

“Ibig mong sabihin madungis ang mga taga Pasig? (You mean people in Pasig are usually untidy?)”

She explained that it not usual that she encounters people like me. Which means that, to her, my “social status” shows in the way I dress and present myself. She used to work at the grocery of a large chain of department stores and she was comparing the clientele. It’s a little discriminating of her because she thought that I was “better” than the rest of the customers.

I realized that she was just frustrated because the customer before me didn’t push through with her purchase, not having enough money with her. And left even before a proper “reversal” of the transaction was done. The department store chain she used to work for was notorious for not hiring staff permanently, though. She may be just missing the “better situation” she was in before.